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E is for Expectations

Expectations.

That word, and the effects of that word, are soul crushers for me.

Do you want me to fail?
Do you want me to be upset?
Do you want me to judge myself harshly?

Expect me to do something. Expect me to be more.

Expectation is the root of all heartache. -William Shakespeare

One of my best traits is that I am a hard worker. When I open my life up to new avenues, whether it be a new position for work, or trying to conquer a weakness (like writing, ugh!), I do what needs to be done. I put in extra hours at work to overcome a learning curve, to get the science done, or try to catch up because I expected too much out of myself that week. I put in extra hours trying to think of words and how I could string those words into sentences so I could maybe, one day, write another article.

But when I feel like I am expected to put in the extra hours just because, I will under-preform. I will under-whelm.

There is a huge difference in results with the following pairs of statements:
1. I expect you to work 80 hours per week. (I will work 80 hours, but I will resent you.)
2. I expect you to get your work done. (I will work 80, 90, 100 hours, whatever it takes to get my work done.)

3. I expect myself to write an article a day. (Oh yeah! I’ll show you! … by never writing.)
4. I expect myself to write more than I usually do. (Easy-peasy. Writing one article is more than I usually write. But hey! I’m conquering something that is legitimately difficult for me.)

Is there such a thing as a negative and positive expectation? Because I feel that is what I just did there. In both pairs outlined above, the word “Expect” was front and center, but the outcomes were so vastly different.

Perhaps the difference, and the resentment, doesn’t stem from the word expect, but from the intention of that word. In the first scenario of both pairs, a rigid guide was established (you MUST do this in THIS timeline to be successful!) whereas in the second scenario, the guide was more fluid.

….

Maybe that is why I’m doing so much better … nay, so much more, when it comes to my fitness goals. I’m not expecting myself to exercise every single day. I’m not expecting myself to lose weight. Heck, I’m not even doing a “traditionally Nicole exercise routine” (you know, with weights and being hardcore and the like). I’m just expecting to have fun, and to move more, and maybe the weight will come off during the process.

AND IT IS!

Well, now my day has flipped completely around! Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening!

drseussyoureofftogreatplaces

Internet Quizzes, Wizards, and Science (oh my)

It seems that these last few weeks have been all about the Zimbio quizzes. Everyone I know has done at least one. So, I thought, heck! I’ll do all of them. It was mostly for research purposes (of course) because they all focus on the minutia. How are you most like a certain character, who may not be overly complex. But, we as individuals, are the exact opposite. Shrek says it best:

Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
[walks off]
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!

We have so many layers and I don’t think just one quiz could even peel the first layer off that onion. This is why I did multiple quizzes. I wanted to see, in the end, how well they could analyze my character by asking questions like ‘out of these movies, which is your favourite?’ or ‘are you good or evil?’. In the name of Science, this was almost an unbiased test, as I don’t watch many of these shows and I haven’t read some of these books. So, I took the following quizzes (Which character am I in the Hunger games, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Mean Girls, Grey’s Anatomy, The Simpsons, Pretty Little Liars, Anchorman, and Game of Thrones, Which creature am I in The Hobbitt, and Which Disney princess am I) and got the below results.

KatnissEverdeen_HG Dumbledore_HarryPotter Tiana_DisneyPrincess Mulan_DisneyPrincess Obi_WanKenobi_StarWars CadyHeron_MeanGirls CristinaYang_Greys Lisa_Simpsons Caleb_PrettyLittleLiars Drogo_GOTWizard_Tolkien Veronic_Anchorman

Where to begin?

You’ll notice, there are two Disney Princesses up there. That’s because, I took that quiz twice. I forgot to save the result image, and when I took it again, I got a different Princess. Rather than say one was an outlier, I included both because there was some truth in both.

Some of the common themes amongst all of these characters (according to the descriptions given, because, again, the only movies/books I Have seen/read are The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Mulan, and Mean Girls. — my wife watches Grey’s Anatomy, so I’ve seen some episodes of that show, but not enough to say I could swing the quiz towards one character) are traits I highly value in myself, which is pretty neat.

Those traits are: honest (sometimes to a fault), ambitious, intelligent, and hard working. Even my introvert-ness came out in these quizzes, along with my ability to dream big and do whatever it takes to achieve those dreams (which can make it hard for me to fit in). I am selfless and giving and caring.

What’s pretty neat is, if I didn’t take all of these quizzes – and only took, say the Big Bang Theory one, I would have given up on these stupid things. Tiaras? Really? I can fit in, I’m not that awkward … So she and I don’t seem to make a huge connection (if you can call it that). But, when we combine her results with the rest of these characters, then the puzzle makes more sense.

Kind of like in science – the more data points you collect and the more technical and experimental replicates you perform, the closer your data approaches the true mean!

I know who I am, but now, you can see a glimpse of that for yourself.

Nice to meet you! I seem to be an awesome jaundiced wizard who can hold her/his own in the wild and I will always follow my heart and it should keep me out of trouble. But, when trouble comes, I can hold my own.